With 2010 coming to a close, it's time for the end of the year awards and everyone's thinking about them. Things like Fight of the year, Fighter of the Year, KO of the year, Upset of the Year and Round of the Year will be the words on everyone's lips over the coming few weeks however, unlike most awards, the ones you are going to be reading about here, are a little different. We like to do things with a bit of a twist and are going to be looking some awards of a different kind.
Firstly, our opening award-
Stinker of the year:
The award goes to Audley Harrison's shorts during his fight with David Haye. As everyone in the arena found out, they stunk terrible as Harrison literally dropped his bowels on the way to the ring and was so worried about the brown coming out that he didn't throw anything of note incase he emptied whatever he had left.
As has been said by everyone who's seen it Audley Harrison no showed, as many expected he did nothing during his fight at all except getting used as target practise for a short time in the 3rd round. In front of around 20,000 in the arena and plenty watching at home on Sky Box office. This brilliantly links into our second award.
Mug(s) of the year:
This award goes to about 700,000 of you (yes you!) who paid for the aforementioned Haye v Harrison “fight”. If you're a true boxing fan and expected anything other than the farce this was you deserve the label mug, if however you were someone from outside of the usual boxing fan, then you have learnt a valuable lesson. Audley Harrison isn't a boxer, he's just a very strange man.
Although we here at boxingbloggingatitsoddest like seeing Audley beaten up as much as the next man theirs only so much Aud anyone can take. Instead we want to look at more deserving fighters. Those that stand out for something interesting, such as being an idiot, or being made to eat you're own words.
The idiot of the Year:
This award goes to a fighter who called his opponent an idiot...then got stopped. Henry Lundy would call John Molina Jr “an idiot” going into their fight back in July, before being dropped by Molina in the 8th and stopped in the 11th. Perhaps funnier however was the fact that Lundy claimed Molina wouldn't be as good as his dad, foolishly assuming John was the son of John John Molina.
Thank you for that “Hammerin' Hank”, you've shown you truly do deserve an award. As did a man with a silly name. Although funny names in sports are nothing new, they are something that will never get old. There was quite a few nominations for this award so we've had to make several trophies to hand out to different fighters.
The “Long” silly name award:
This is an award for the longest silly name, and although the career of the fighter does go back he still has a silly name. George Tahdooahnippah, the unbeaten Super Middleweight from the USA has been relatively busy this year wondering what his name would be worth in a game of Scrabble, though sadly George scrabble words have a maximum length of 9 letters.
The “Short” silly name award:
When your name is the same as that of a form of oral sex you're unlucky, but for BJ Flores it's earned him this award. It could be the closest he gets to a meaningful title after his loss to Danny Green in an IBO Cruiserweight title fight.
Staying on the subject of names we have 2 more name awards. This time it's for the imposters in boxing awards. For these awards you need to have the same, or similar name to either a celebrity (for the celeb version of this award) or to another boxer, in the past this second award would likely have been for Cory and Corrie Sanders.
Celeb imposter of the year:
This award goes to Australian fighter Brad Pitt who has gone from 2006 Commonwealth gold medal winner to erm...winning this illustrative “Celeb imposter” award. Hope you enjoy it Brad.
Boxing imposter of the year:
Tomas Adamek, no not the Polish fighter who's now campaigning as a heavyweight but the Czech Republics Light Heavyweight who is now wondering how to become Tomasz Adamek and collect much larger pay packets.
As well as names and mouths boxers can have a few too many wrinkles. They can on far too long and seem to do it for no apparent reason in places like Mexico and New Zealand. This brings us to our ageist award.
Pack it in you old bugger award:
In his 50's and having just lost his unbeaten record that dates back to the 1990's Hassan Chitsaz really should hang them up. He had a great run to rack up a perfect 19-0 (19) record until being stopped quickly in a fight with John Ellis.
Finally the last few awards for the year.
Pensioner beater of the year:
It's hard to fault David Haye for picking up easy paydays whilst avoiding the Klitschko's and with victories over John Ruiz and Audley Harrison this year gave his opponents an average age of OVER 38. Maybe if Hassan wants to reject his Pack it in you old bugger award he could face the “Hayemaker” next year.
Where's the Buffet award:
The joke about heavyweights getting heavier was shown by the king of the fat bastards this year. The winner being a guy who's average weight for his 2 fights this year was OVER 400 lbs, and unsurprisingly he was stopped twice in the opening round. Dustin Nichols weighed in at an impressive 398 to face Deontay Wilder then an even larger 425 when he fought Ernest Mazyck in October. It's worth adding Mazyck himself weighed 321 for that fight which wins the combined “All you can eat award”.
Thank you for joining us for our awards ceremony, I hope to see some of your gorgeous faces next year folks.
Firstly, our opening award-
Stinker of the year:
The award goes to Audley Harrison's shorts during his fight with David Haye. As everyone in the arena found out, they stunk terrible as Harrison literally dropped his bowels on the way to the ring and was so worried about the brown coming out that he didn't throw anything of note incase he emptied whatever he had left.
As has been said by everyone who's seen it Audley Harrison no showed, as many expected he did nothing during his fight at all except getting used as target practise for a short time in the 3rd round. In front of around 20,000 in the arena and plenty watching at home on Sky Box office. This brilliantly links into our second award.
Mug(s) of the year:
This award goes to about 700,000 of you (yes you!) who paid for the aforementioned Haye v Harrison “fight”. If you're a true boxing fan and expected anything other than the farce this was you deserve the label mug, if however you were someone from outside of the usual boxing fan, then you have learnt a valuable lesson. Audley Harrison isn't a boxer, he's just a very strange man.
Although we here at boxingbloggingatitsoddest like seeing Audley beaten up as much as the next man theirs only so much Aud anyone can take. Instead we want to look at more deserving fighters. Those that stand out for something interesting, such as being an idiot, or being made to eat you're own words.
The idiot of the Year:
This award goes to a fighter who called his opponent an idiot...then got stopped. Henry Lundy would call John Molina Jr “an idiot” going into their fight back in July, before being dropped by Molina in the 8th and stopped in the 11th. Perhaps funnier however was the fact that Lundy claimed Molina wouldn't be as good as his dad, foolishly assuming John was the son of John John Molina.
Thank you for that “Hammerin' Hank”, you've shown you truly do deserve an award. As did a man with a silly name. Although funny names in sports are nothing new, they are something that will never get old. There was quite a few nominations for this award so we've had to make several trophies to hand out to different fighters.
The “Long” silly name award:
This is an award for the longest silly name, and although the career of the fighter does go back he still has a silly name. George Tahdooahnippah, the unbeaten Super Middleweight from the USA has been relatively busy this year wondering what his name would be worth in a game of Scrabble, though sadly George scrabble words have a maximum length of 9 letters.
The “Short” silly name award:
When your name is the same as that of a form of oral sex you're unlucky, but for BJ Flores it's earned him this award. It could be the closest he gets to a meaningful title after his loss to Danny Green in an IBO Cruiserweight title fight.
Staying on the subject of names we have 2 more name awards. This time it's for the imposters in boxing awards. For these awards you need to have the same, or similar name to either a celebrity (for the celeb version of this award) or to another boxer, in the past this second award would likely have been for Cory and Corrie Sanders.
Celeb imposter of the year:
This award goes to Australian fighter Brad Pitt who has gone from 2006 Commonwealth gold medal winner to erm...winning this illustrative “Celeb imposter” award. Hope you enjoy it Brad.
Boxing imposter of the year:
Tomas Adamek, no not the Polish fighter who's now campaigning as a heavyweight but the Czech Republics Light Heavyweight who is now wondering how to become Tomasz Adamek and collect much larger pay packets.
As well as names and mouths boxers can have a few too many wrinkles. They can on far too long and seem to do it for no apparent reason in places like Mexico and New Zealand. This brings us to our ageist award.
Pack it in you old bugger award:
In his 50's and having just lost his unbeaten record that dates back to the 1990's Hassan Chitsaz really should hang them up. He had a great run to rack up a perfect 19-0 (19) record until being stopped quickly in a fight with John Ellis.
Finally the last few awards for the year.
Pensioner beater of the year:
It's hard to fault David Haye for picking up easy paydays whilst avoiding the Klitschko's and with victories over John Ruiz and Audley Harrison this year gave his opponents an average age of OVER 38. Maybe if Hassan wants to reject his Pack it in you old bugger award he could face the “Hayemaker” next year.
Where's the Buffet award:
The joke about heavyweights getting heavier was shown by the king of the fat bastards this year. The winner being a guy who's average weight for his 2 fights this year was OVER 400 lbs, and unsurprisingly he was stopped twice in the opening round. Dustin Nichols weighed in at an impressive 398 to face Deontay Wilder then an even larger 425 when he fought Ernest Mazyck in October. It's worth adding Mazyck himself weighed 321 for that fight which wins the combined “All you can eat award”.
Thank you for joining us for our awards ceremony, I hope to see some of your gorgeous faces next year folks.
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