Audley Harrison-Twitter Warrior!

A recent newspaper reported Audley Harrison claiming he would “prove doubters wrong”, and now, the 39 year old Harrison, seems to be on the warpath. Yes this is the same A-Farce we all love to hate, the problem is that his war path isn't on the heavyweight division but instead on the world of Twitter where Audley, presumably feeling safe is happy to swing his shots. He seems to throw more verbal jabs over the site than he did at David Haye.

The ever confident Gold Medal winner has come out with some of those lines you know only he could ever come out with. When asked whether or not he still believes he'll be a world champion he replied with “Long way, but a few good wins and I'm back in the huntRT”. A possible early contender for under-statement of the year. “:Long way”? I'm nearer having a threesome with Kelly Brook and Briana Frost than Audley is from ever winning a world title. A “few good wins”? Has Audley ever actually had what we'd consider a good win? His best victories are against British standard heavyweights in Williams and Sprott, both of whom have already beaten him anyway. Although a lot of people want to downplay the Klitschko's they spar with Sprott and Vitali famously beat Williams senseless well before Audley faced him. If the A-Farce wants a good win what about guys like Povetkin? Arreola? Chagaev? The talk is that he will face a British fighter, in fact he's called out Tyson Fury and Dereck Chisora, more British level fighters.

The Olympic Gold Medal winner has also recently come out with this. “Listen, all the big talking wanabee bad boys on here, don't watch me. I'm all good. My life is gravy, no complaints. Can you say the same ?” He doesn't seem to have any idea most fight fans watch him to see him layed out on the canvas all over again and hopefully retire. We thought Danny Williams would have embarrassed him into retirement, then we were sure Michael Sprott had done the job, then hoped Martin Rogan had managed it. We've realised he's not going away until someone literally gives him brain damage, sadly I'm not to sure he'd realise it. In a fair honest retort:

“Listen, you big talking boxing wannabee bad boy, don't call yourself a fighter when your not willing to fight. My life is pretty good, can't complain and I'm sure many others can say the same”.

When a “fan” asked “For your fans, why should we still follow you?” Audley retorted with “If your a fan, I don't need to answer that” almost expecting the blind followers to keep following him. It was as if the blind man expects people to be as stupid as he himself seems. Is it impossible for poor Audley to realise weren't all delusional fools? He's giving people no reason, in or out of the ring, to remain fans. He needs to grow up, this is a man who's been a pro for 10 years but has done nothing of note.

A protective fan was kind enough to offer this “Have you got keyboard gangsters on your case?? Bless the clueless bastards.” Sadly the “clueless bastards” are the those following the A-Farce despite the let down, the talk and the repeated failure. Though as Audley said “A wise man once said ' if they are writing about you, they are thinking about you, if they are thinking about you, they are dreaming about you' can u imagine :)” can you imagine some of the things I must be dreaming about? A nude Marco Antonio Periban for a start (actually...). Shame I find it hard to dream and write things because, believe it or not, I get paid! Well done Audley, I'll mis-quote a very wise man myself “I write, therefore I am” (long live Descartes).

Sorry for the language with this one but....well it's Audley's fault “When my day comes to shit, I mean quit :) I promise to let u know”. Shame he's been shit for the past decade and he's certainly let us know about it, repeatedly. If he quit I'd rather he just faded off into obscurity rather than announced it to the world. He's resorted to throwing personal insults “I'm joking butt head” though this is nothing of a surprise, he needs to throw something, sure as hell didn't throw anything at David Haye in November.

Before leaving Audley alone (I didn't want to catch whatever mental problem he has) I saw this gem. “Fact: I don't give a flying f..k what people say. Fact: I fought Michael Sprout for 8 rounds with one ARM, do you not think I would have found a way to come back: fact: I should of got asking out on a stretcher, its for the world title”. Now I understand the start of that. Yes yes he fought a 35 year old journeyman who had gone 2-4 in his last 6 one handed, well we say fought he didn't really fight but that's a technicality. Though the second part I have no idea about, is he saying he should have had to go out on a stretcher against Haye? If so it's probably a shame the referee did save his life.

Anyway thank you Mr Harrison. Been nice to vent after Man United's garbage first half, not quite as bad as your beloved Arsenals though I guess. Stay on Twitter, your more active on there than you ever were in the ring.

Who will David Haye face next?

Whether you’re a boxing fan or not, you’ll surely have been caught up in some of the hype one side of the Atlantic or the other. Here in Blighty we had David Haye v Audley Harrison and in the US the Cowboy Stadium was the centre of attention with Manny Pacquaio v Antonio Margarito being the talking point. Which ever country you were in, you saw only one fighter winning their fight, and although Margarito put up much better fight than Harrison the bookies got them both spot on.

As I’m British I probably heard more about the Harrison v Haye farce than the other fight (which I watched and thoroughly enjoyed). So with it being Britain I’m going to focus this piece on the fight we had. Or rather the relatively legalised assault we had as calling it a fight would probably be breaching trade description act. Audley, as many seemed to think before hand, lacked the fighters instinct and after landing a meagre 1 shot in the opening 2 rounds was thoroughly beaten in the 3^rd. What good will come of this? Well aside from the fact Audley Harrison has almost certainly been beaten into retirement in front of one of the largest viewing publics in recent British history.

Although it was probably the worst heavyweight title fight in recent memory, and that’s including the likes of Wladamir Klitschko v Sultan Ibragimov it has allowed boxing fans, at last, to realise that David Haye is a hypocrite. The man who said he was going to tear through the heavyweight division facing only meaningful opponents has instead faced a nobody. Not for the first time in his career, and it probably won’t be the last. Sadly though Haye has a knack of fighting older menm varying skill levels but older men. His last few opponents have been on the wrong side of 35, with Audley being 39, the most extreme age of those “old” fighters Haye has been facing in recent years.

With this in mind, I’ve come to the assumption Haye will be looking for another older fight to feast on next and decided to come up with a short list of my own. Don’t worry, about this giving Haye and Adam Booth ideas, I’m sure they already have a similar short list.

Tony Thompson-age 39, record 34-2 (22)
Thompson may not actually be far off the mark of plausibility. Thompson did spar with Haye in the build up for the Harrison fight, he was reported to have dropped Haye in sparring, allowing the fight to be sold on that. A former title challenger who has maintained a high ranking is 30-1 in his last 31 fights with his only stoppage loss coming against Wladamir Klitschko.

Juan Carlos Gomez-age 37, record 48-2-0-1 (36)
Like Haye, Gomez was a former Cruiserweight champion (holding the WBC belt from 1998 to 2002). Although once hugely talented Gomez has done the same thing as many modern day heavy’s and used the division as an excuse for an ever growing waist band. At 200lbs he was a fine athlete but now coming to the ring around 250 he looks visibly fat. Like Thompson (see above) Gomez has had a world heavyweight title fight, losing in the 9^th round to Vitali Klitschko in 2009 though is on a 4 fight unbeaten streak against journeymen.

Evander Holyfield-age 48, record 43-10-2 (28)
Perhaps the heavyweight grandpa, but still a legendary name in the sport and a man who would happily sign to fight Haye any day. Although Holyfield is shot, he’s still fighting and has a fight against Sherman Williams in a few weeks coming up. Many, including myself, felt that Holyfield deserved the decision against Nikolai Valuev back in December 2008 in a WBA world title fight, and had Holyfield gotten the decision Haye may never have won the title. This fight could be sold as “Setting the record straight”, though it’ll be seen as “Haye beats up pensioner”, hard to see a bigger American name than Holyfield however and a unification fight of sorts (Holyfield holds the lightly regarded WBF title).

Antonio Tarver-age 41, record 28-6 (19)
The former Light Heavyweight champion announced his move to the heavyweight division in October with a wide points win over Nagy Aguilera. Having held various titles at 175lbs he’s trying to follow in the footsteps of rival Roy Jones Jr and take a title off one of the big men and Haye is the smallest of the big men. It’s worth noting that Tarver is pretty much the same size as Haye, admittedly he weighed 12lbs heavier in his last fight though is just 1 inch shorter and would give away 3 inches in reach. A possible match that could earn Haye some American focus.

Jean Marc Mormeck-age 38, record 35-4 (22)
A rematch of their Cruiserweight contest from back in November 2007 would this time see Haye calling the shots, rather than needing to go over to Paris for the fight. Though the interest in the contest is minimal, Mormeck is currently campaigning as a Heavyweight and was a former undisputed champion at Cruiserweight. From the eyes of those involved it could make a lot of sense, allowing Mormeck to retire on a nice payday in front of 20,000 in Britain.

David Tua-age 37, record 51-3-2 (43)
12 months ago internet forums were genuinely calling for this fight, the fan friendly Tua, a KO machine from New Zealand was on the comeback trail and a fight with Haye was almost made for fans. Though since then Tua has shown he’s no long the KO machine he once was. A very controversial draw with former Haye victim Monte Barrett last time out showed that Tua was what most 37 year old heavyweights are, washed up. Barrett dropped Tua in the 12^th round, for the first time in Tua’s career he was decked. As a fighter he has managed to only get 1 world title fight and that was over a decade ago (a points loss to Lennox Lewis), perhaps he deserves another, their has been less deserving opponents (such as Harrison) after all.

Oliver McCall-age 45, record 54-10-0-2 (37)
Haye has been called the hardest hitting in the division by some of his fans, McCall has generally been called the toughest man in the division. What happens when an immoveable object meets an irresistible force? McCall will also bring some British history to the ring. In 1994 he stopped Lennox Lewis in the second round, in The Arena, in Wembley, he has also faced (and lost) to Frank Bruno and Lewis in a rematch. The rematch is best known for McCall having a mental break down, though neither the hard hitting Bruno nor Lewis could drop McCall, can Haye do what they couldn’t?

Hassan Chitsaz-age 52, record 19-1 (19)
The oldest professional heavyweight in the world today, a KO machine who scored 19 straight stoppages in the opening 2 rounds before he was beaten recently in the opening few seconds. Haye’s work of retiring fighters will work brilliantly against the Iranian born “assassin”, though it’s unlikely that the WBA will allow their title to be put on the line, that wouldn’t stop the fight from being a non-title fight. The fighting public would see more fight from Chitsaz than they saw from Harrison recently, so lets not ignore this possibility, after all Haye needs to take on some punchers, a guy who has a 95% KO record can’t hit that softly…can he?




All though these fights are tongue in I wouldn’t write them off altogether, Haye does like the older men, and although he is mandated to face Ruslan Chagaev, theirs no saying Chagaev will be able to fight in the UK due to medical worries. Maybe, just maybe, Hayes trend of old men will continue.